Assalamualaikum w.b.t.
So, this entry is gonna be very honest and heart breaking. Miserable yet trying to uplift my motovation. I meant that it's more to luahan hati sendiri based on what I've been through as in right now. I'm restless, tired, having a heartache, but in the same time head over heels with my bf. Eh. Let's just save that for another day.
Well, I've just had a conversation with my soulmate bff whom I love and cherish her very much. She really understands me well enough that I felt like she's so close with me as like a family member. I always tell her everything, in good and bad times whichever which I'm facing and same goes to her.
This is about me and my journey of study. Just now she said to me,
I understands, I know that it's not on your own willingness to further your study. You did it bcoz your mom ask you to, I know. You can't fully give your heart on it. But whatever it is, just think that this is the best for you. And it hits me that, yeah this is the path I choose. I don't have to look back and think of the road not taken. I just need to move on, move forward, face this. I need to face my responsibilities, it is like amanah. From my mom. I need to remind myself of this whenever I'm feeling down or felt like quiting this whole thing. It is really hard you know, when you don't have you heart to do something, tak ikhlas namanya. That, is another chapter.
I remember some phrase, be said that: Allah takkan mengubah nasib sesuatu bangsa/seseorang itu melainkan that bangsa/sesorang itu yang mengubah nya sendiri.
So I need to change, cause it's all depend on me right now.
See you in another day, in shaa Allah.
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