I'm Sick.

Yeah, I am. Sick. My heart is sick. I've been emotionally sick. Am I that worthless? Useless? I'm mentally sick, really. I never felt this hurt before. Even when I broke up with my scandals. LOL  It hurts so much. I had been enduring it all during this semester. This semester of my study is tougher than ever. I don't wanna even think about the other 3 semesters left for me, that I have to go through in finishing my study, plus my industrial training. Ughh. I am so not wanna think about it. How am I gonna live through these 2 more years in UiTM? I wanna run. Far away. I really wanna run away from that life there. I don't know what to do, I'm so unmotivated. What am I supposed to do? Yeah, I'm supposed to fulfill my responsibility to finish my study, get a hold of a degree. Degree of Chemical Engineering. How come I only realized this now? Yeah, I had realized it when I'm on 3rd semester but this time I really feel wanna quit. I cry every time I think about this. I really had chose my major wrongly. I shouldn't have pick and apply for this course in the first place, and I don't even remember why I did that back then. This had became harder when I don't like it, can't put all my heart to it, can't enjoy my learning and studying. Not to mention the peoples here. *Tuuttt!!!* There's no place for regret now, isn't it? I can't turn back now, I'm already half way through. My heart felt tight, I feel like I'm suffocated, I can't breathe thinking about this. Am I that childish? When will I grow up? Can I grow up properly and be a good adult? *This questions come again.* Humphh. =.= I'm hoping for someone to come and save me, just like a prince with knights that come and save the princess from the bad guys. Huh, that is so fairy tale. ROFL Nobody can save me except myself, right? Nobody can change people except people themselves. I really wanna change to the better, can I do it? Or is it just me that doesn't wanna change? *sigh* I felt like a pathetic, failure and looser person. Aish, what did I been nonsensically blabbering here again. People, can somebody motivate me back? T.T Alright, it's okay. I'm not hoping for anything anyway. :(